Saturday, July 29, 2017

All Blood Looks Red to Me


"All blood looks red to me, so I can't tell. So I don't look at the blood, but at the person."                                                                                                                              ~The King Loves. 

The Question...

A common question that often comes up in adoption conversation and a question I've been asked as an adopted child  Don't you want your own children? What about having biological kids?


Even as an adopted child, studying my native language at university, there are times I literally forget I am adopted. It might sound silly, but people often tell my mother and I we look alike, and assume I am her biological daughter.

Now, maybe it's just because I'm Caucasian, like my parents, that I forget. Surely, someone like my sister Ellianna, with her long black hair and Asian features wouldn't be mistaken for a biological child. 




 You should see the surprised expressions on people's faces when they turn around.

The Heart of the Matter...

So many adopted children struggle with the issue of identity and blood relationships - questions of what if, why, what about my birth family. It can lead to doubt, resentment, and fear. These feelings surround the  context of the quote at the beginning of this post. There are two friends, one a prince, the other a member of a noble family. The prince, whose father is Korean and whose mother is Chinese has grown up surrounded by people saying he's unfit to rule because of his "half-blood" lineage. The prince, taking these comments to heart, thinks his friend would be a much better ruler - after all, his lineage is pure. As an adopted young woman, I was struck with the truth of his friend's simple reply: 

All blood looks red to me, so I can't tell. So I don't look at the blood, but at the person.

You see, blood is blood. Just a substance. Yes, it is the basis of physical life. However, it is the person that makes the difference and teaches us to live life. This is why I call my adoptive parents Mom and Dad. They were the ones who have taken care of me, given me a home, and taught me with love from the time I was 17 months old. 

The same holds true when I look at my sisters. I don't see a difference in country of birth, language, race, or disability. They are simply my sisters. I don't love them because of their blood. Indeed how shallow that would sound. I love them because I have been taught to "care for the orphans and widows in their distress..." (James 1:27). I love them because they were chosen by my family and because I have experienced how love and care can change a life. 

I've written before about biological/adopted child dynamics, in my review of Cheese in the Trap. Yet the answer to the same feelings of doubt and resentment is the same. We (adopted children, biological children, and parents) must choose to be secure in our identity in Christ. There is only One whose blood matters. (John 3:16). And it is through His death we were adopted into God's family (Ephesians 1:5). It is not our blood that makes us brothers and sisters in Christ. How could there be any hope in that? It is through the Person who laid down His life for us. (1 John 3:16). This is how we know what love is...

This is why, even remembering a conversation I had in high school, to now, I see no distinction between biological or adopted. What I know is this. There are 156 million orphans and Christ sacrificed His life for my adoption. Why should I then, in following His example, not do the same? Because of the Cross, the Lord does not look at us in our weak flesh and blood. Rather, He looks at us through Christ, the One who makes the difference in our lives. 

Final Thought... 

I will always be grateful to my birth parents for giving me life. But if it weren't for my parents, I would never have had the opportunity to live it. Thank you. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Comment below or write to me at natalya.aleksandra@gmail.com. 

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