Wednesday, March 30, 2016

It's Not Easy, But You Must....

Since I did my last post, I have found myself drawn to the music of Rigoletto. I can't remember the last time I  watched the film. Today, I drank up the beauty of the music and lyrics in a deeper way I had not been able to appreciate when I was younger. I used to sing several songs from Rigoletto when I took voice lessons and this morning, Melody Within kept coming to mind. As I sang the lyrics to myself...

Every person you have known,
has a song of their own,
once they open up you'll hear what's there.
It's not easy you must listen
with your heart for what lies hidden

There was a melody, locked deep inside of me but now its free,
It found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony,
Love more than anything,
Teaches our hearts to sing...
I realized for the first time how beautifully this song illustrates the orphan. Especially the aging out, teenage orphans. Every orphan, every child, has a song of their own. They may keep their past buried deep inside and do everything they can to push us away. 
 We must listen with our hearts. It is not easy. We cannot expect to simply "undo" sixteen years of rejection and callousness. Even if they have the sweetest personality, the spiritual, psychological and emotional scars from orphanage life are still present.

Love more than anything, teaches our hearts to sing... How can we love someone who doesn't love us back? In Rigoletto, Bonnie faces this question and everyday, adoptive families face this question as well. They come home with their adopted child, expecting bonding. It may be slow, but eventually it will happen...right? What if it doesn't?

What if we have to be content loving someone who does not love us back? It is hard. There is not an easy answer. Yet sometimes, all that we can do for a child is to show them the love of Christ and pray our love goes somewhere inside and stays with them. We may not see change for months or even years. Will we still trust God, even if the melody is not what we planned or wanted?

In my own life as an adopted child, I have found indescribable joy. I can sing and praise His name because I have found peace in Him. My identity is not in my past as an orphan. My identity is rooted in Christ and He has unlocked the melody He had planted in me as a child. What freedom I have found in this knowledge.

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