Tuesday, March 22, 2016

A Part of Me is Aching

And if a heart's breaking.
A part of me is aching
To show them how much that I care.
But if no one lets me
Or turns and forgets me, then how,
How can I share?

But when I stand at the door of my dreams
And face a lonely heart calling for me,
I could fill that emptiness within
If that heart would let me in.
Won't someone let me in?
Kurt Bestor is probably more well-known for Prayer of the Children, which is often used to share the need for adoption advocacy and orphan care.

But tonight it is this song, from Rigoletto, that fills my soul until swells with emotion that dances on the edge of overflowing.

Orphans are hurting. Adopted children and teenagers are lost in an swirl of confusion, anger and fear. Their hearts break under the inexpressible pain of neglect and unanswered questions: "Why didn't Mama want me? What's wrong with me?"

A part of me aches to love them, to embrace these children, so like myself and what I could have been. Sometimes I am honored with their trust. Most times, I am rejected, for reasons they may not understand themselves. If they turn away, if they refuse my compassion, I can only stand and wait. If I am burdened for them, how much more sorrow is in the heart of their Father, who created them in His image?

Orphans, particularly the aging-out orphans, carry years of pain and layers of scars that cannot be undone easily. I yearn to show them that someone cares, but I cannot heal them.

Unlike the song says, I cannot "fill that emptiness within," even if they allow me to see their hearts. I cannot. Christ can.
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

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